Page 14 - the Noise July 2017

aSphalt’S therMal wall
StOry by OMar ViCtOr
illuStratiOn by peDrO Dia
was as much as 23 degrees hotter than the earth right next to it; not only on the surface, but within the surrounding air circulating above. with my humble house ladder, i was able to observe the anomaly up to 12 feet above the surface, taking measurements from the center of the roadway, then 12 feet from the side of the roadway where pine needles gave a brown- ish hue to the earth, speckled with some tones of green from the groundsel. i noticed the anomaly persisted to as much as a 21°F dif- ference.”
“Ja, i theorized the air up in the troposphere, the stratosphere, maybe even the mesosphere, was also much warmer — maybe only by a few degrees by the time you get to the mesosphere — but enough to disturb the gentle caressing of hydrogen ions and the tingling of oxygen, thus pre- venting rain clouds from forming
— thermal walls, i call it, as it cre- ates a heated wall of air that builds upwards toward the heavens. it’s transfixing, i tell you, when you pay attention to those gargantuan bodies of floating water ...
while the doctor admits he still must enlist one of his hot-air balloon friends to complete the documentation of air temperature as it moves up from the surface of the earth to the multiple layers of sky — he believes he has the laws of natural science to back him up, and further contends the tint of pavement is a major cause of local
— and ultimately global — warm- ing. He sites the fact that before 1950, roads were not necessar- ily “blacktopped,” and especially in centuries-old towns in europe as well as the americas, streets were lined with cobble, which came from local quarries, and were
much lighter in tint.
“if you notice, black is a very rare
color in the natural world, and of course, it attracts the heat of the sun. whereas the color white is re- flective and doesn’t maintain heat, the color black absorbs and stores heat ... so the solution i propose is something like a color-half-toning or a tinting of the existing road- ways, perhaps with a color palette similar to that of the surrounding landscape.”
Dr. Hügendørfen contends “tint- ed roadways” will be the saving grace of natural weather forma- tions and will once again restore much of the climate lost due to
“the movement and growth of hu- manity.” as of the date of this writ- ing, his proposal has received a line item on his township council’s quarterly public agenda, and he awaits a “lively discourse” among cohorts in the community.
whence departing from his basement laboratory, the doc- tor appeared overtly giddy as he charted his data in preparation. Updates to follow ...
| Omar Victor takes his flier miles seriously. omar@thenoise.us
Filethirteen (JULY 2015)
&
e nOD tO the SiMple tint
&t
th
h
e
Dr. Sven Hügendørfen of snuffeluffagustraße 17 in stuttgart Germany — the re- nowned clockmaking boulevard nestled in the Deutsche Himmels- welt — recently pronounced a most unique scientific discovery. in his work as a clockmaker, his day job lead him to the clouds, where- upon he observed what he called
“fischig streifen,” or literally trans- lated, “fishy stripes,” or stria where cloud cover normally would form together.
30-45% drop in overall precipita-
tion in the region, when compared
to rain data collected 25 and 45 the south. there, right above
“Ja, instead of the rain clouds coming together, i’d see ‘shoots’ of blue, some parallel, some grid-like, and i began to wonder, ‘is this a nat- ural thing?’ after all it was the rainy season, and so often we get bursts of moisture popping all around this valley ... ‘rain pockets’ that now seem be forming further and fur- ther away from new developments built to support this fashionable clockmaking tourist industry.”
Dr. Hügendørfen cites historical weather reporting, which shows a
had mounted on his back porch, facing a patch of new homes to
years ago, respectively. “so i be- gan to further wonder: ‘are these stripes at all reflective of the new patterns of roadway laid to accom- modate this burgeoning clock- making economy?’”
Upon a meeting at his organic bungalow atop a small hill on the outstretches of town, the doctor persuaded this part time travel writer to inspect a telescope he
neueweißtraße, where a block of ‘internet bed & breakfast’ sites sprang up just last spring, in the cumulus clouds, there appeared to be a sort of checkerboard forming from the blue in the sky.
“so i took my measurements with my incredibly sensitive digital thermometer i keep in my home laboratory ... and i discovered the hot black asphalt on the roadways
46 • JULY 2015 • the NOISE arts & news • thenoise.us 14 • JULY 2017 | the NOISE arts & news | www.thenoise.us