Page 39 - the NOISE August 2012

Atoast to all of the hardy heat survivors, here comes anoth- er test of mettle as the Dog Days of Summer dominate Au- gust. Looking around, you will notice signs of decline every- where. Most of the deciduous trees and shrubs have ceased producing new leaf growth and are concentrating on ripening remaining seeds and fruits and storing up energy reserves. By now, several fruits have come and gone, but there could be some ripe blackberries left, halfway up Oak Creek Canyon.
Mesquite beans are ripening and falling fast, so now is the time to gather them. Look for straw-yellow or reddish streaked pods that are thick and well-developed. It’s prefer- able to gather pods from the trees, not from the ground. Dry them further in the sun and store in paper sacks or cardboard boxes until processing. Almost always, hatched, harmless Bru- chid beetles will comes out of your stored mesquite beans, so the pods should be kept where the beetles can escape. The beetle larvae and eggs are destroyed by roasting the pods, or during the milling process. Mesquite yields are scanty this year, but individual trees or thickets may yield highly, so keep looking!
The persistent heat is a challenge for the outdoor enthusi- ast and nine-to-fivers unaccustomed to the elements. Smart folks take a midday siesta to avoid laboring in the blazing hot sun. Desert cultures constructed wikiups and shade ramadas with whatever brush, skins, and blankets were available. The evening is when activity resumes and continues well into the night. The creatures of arid lands have adapted well to prowl- ing at night and laying low during the daylight hours.
Stay alert for ants, centipedes, spiders, scorpions, and rattlesnakes whenever placing a footstep, laying a hand down, lifting an object, or choosing a spot to rest. One redeeming quality about scorpions is that they will consume cockroaches, and even other scorpions as food. (You can search an area for living scorpions by shining a UV flashlight; scorpions will glow bright green.) There are lots of predators out there, and most are armed with defenses. Some snakes eat other snakes, such as the black and cream California King Snake, which is a con- strictor. Dubbed the “White Nun,” it can kill some rattlesnakes.
Most spiders are predominantly active at night. If you’re out after dark with a headlamp or flashlight, you may notice tiny green sparkles on the ground. Look very closely; those green sparkles are the 2 largest eyes of the 8-eyed Wolf Spider. Wolf spiders are tan, brownish, or sooty black, with a “racing stripe” design down the length of its body. They can reach tarantula size on occasion, but most wolf spiders are about the size of a thumbtack. When the young first hatch, they ride in a cluster, clinging to the mother spider’s back.
When the heat gets too burdensome, it’s off to the old swim- min’ hole to get wet and cool off. Cornville holds a few gems that are fee-free and usually not too crowded: Spring Creek Crossing and Mormon Crossing on Oak Creek are located along the same byway road off of El Rancho Bonito. Popular waterplay destinations are along Oak Creek and Wet Beaver Creek. Farther away are Sycamore Canyon, Fossil Creek, and West Clear Creek, which offer stunning scenery to boot. There are lots of “secret spots,” to dunk and splash and skinny dip! Please take good care of these special places and remove all trash, whether is belongs to you or not.
Another way to beat the heat is to head to the High Coun- try for a campout or extended stay. The evenings are pleasant, but there is always a chill in the air by early morning. Bring ex- tra clothes and bedding when heading to places like Flagstaff or Pine for overnight summer visits.
Soon the monsoon rains will be tapering off, and mush- rooms are often abundant in the forests and meadows. Ed- ible mushrooms can be found should only be gathered and consumed by educated experts in mycology. Experimenting with mushrooms often leads to folly, or worse!
Only towards the end of August will a chill permeate the air in the lowlands and canyons. This chill portends the coming of Autumn, with it’s crisp air and moody foliage changes. Some- thing to look forward to in the Dog Days!
| ThunderfooT often participates in these local Farmers’ Markets (be on the look- out!): Cottonwood, Sedona (Tlaquepaque), Camp Verde, Flagstaff, and Cornville.
thenoise.us • the NOISE arts & news magazine • AUGUST 2012 • 39
AUGUST TWENTY-TWELVE
CAPRICORN: The weirdest part of August for you is the plain fact than all animals stare intently, unnerv- ingly at you as you pass by. Their silent vigil, which hides a trembling sense of what you can only guess is fear, slowly erodes your delicate grasp on sanity. Write up your will by the 5th, just in case.
AQUARIUS: They say that faith is the best you can do when you have no certainty. Well, you can be certain a badger will leap on your face at some point this month. Said badger will rip ceaselessly at your cranial flesh with its powerful claws and jaws. This is a great cosmic test of love that you will fail miserably.
PISCES: You finally killed off Ernest Borgnine, but your efforts to make Zsa Zsa Gabor “meet with an accident” have so far been unsuccessful. Do something about it by the 15th.
ARIES: Monkeys invade your backyard mini-pool and, through their rudimentary communicative skill, con- vince you that Donald Pleasance has risen from the grave to slap Malcolm McDowell silly. This makes you realize monkeys are something really special.
TAURUS: Be cautious in your financial dealings this month; turns out you’ve not had a job in seven years.
Gemini: You have a single dream that reoccurs every night this month: Ed McMahon, with a candy bar head, slinging balls of mud at your door while tap dancing. The ultimate meaning here is that you’re f*&^ing crazy and you need some sort of Big Money Pharmaceutical Solution.
CANCER: Keep three steps to the side of your signifi- cant other at all times this month, lest you receive col- lateral damage from a crazed badger. And brush your teeth on occasion.
LEO: Haven’t you heard that the bird, the bird, the bird is the word?
VIRGO: Those monkey traps have failed to keep out the little primate bastards, but this month they have a special message for you – if only you knew an Aries- native who could interpret. If you don’t, well, get a shotgun.
LIBRA: The profound, overwhelming truths of the cos- mos are yours for the taking, for only 3 easy payments of $49.95 plus shipping and handling. Send your mon- ey to Strangeology Off-Shore Retirement Fund, 25B Abandoned Warehouse on the Outskirts of Town Way, Schenectady, NY 01010-1010. Drop your payment in the mail and just wait it out. No refunds!
SCORPIO: Now that you’ve silenced all your critics, it’d be in your best interests to pay off the local police com- missioner as well. If he won’t accept your bribe, well, you’ll need Vinnie for one more “whack job.”
SAGITTARIUS: Kitty fears you know her intentions, so expect a late night visit from a sharp set of claws. Most likely across your eyes. Then, as you stumble blindly and painfully through the room, you hear the drawing back of a crossbow bolt. Yep... kitty has evolved.
OPHIUCHUS: You fall into an endless pit of your own despair, which looks a hell of a lot like Albuquerque.