Page 41 - the NOISE January 2014

old western style.
T or C’s main grocery store, Bullocks, probably hasn’t changed much since the 1980s and
reminded me of the neighborhood grocery store of my childhood with its rubber entry mats prompting the entry and exit doors to open separately, its low ceilings and cluttered aisles. I knocked over an entire display of Pepto Bismal and no one batted an eye.
“New Mexico: Not Really New. Not Really Mexico” — t-shirt spotted in downtown T or C.
New Mexican towns never have as many trees as Arizona towns. I always feel a bit windswept and sun-parched in New Mexico. Though New Mexico is very much like Arizona, geologically and historically, I was vexed to discover there are people in The Land of Enchantment who do not consider themselves fans of their neighbor to the west. We have traveled to New Mexico often in the past year and a general, jovial camaraderie from fellow western folk is something we have savored. On this most recent visit I was stunned by a conversation with a particularly strident employee of a bathhouse.
“I am enjoying Truth or Consequences,” I said with a smile, all positivity and light, trying my hand at hypnotic expressions, “I’m a fan of towns of the West and this one is surprisingly artsy and very interesting.” Despite my warm fuzzies, she was instantly dismissive, frowning, saying T or C “lacks culture,” and then hit me with this sucker punch from behind her work desk: “I’d NEVER go to Arizona.” Because of our horrible governor and her politics. And how our horrible governor was influencing the behavior of their slightly less horrible governor. I felt all the air escape from my lungs. I don’t think she realized how insulting she was being.
I’m no fan of Jan Brewer, so to paint the entire state and all of its residents with the same brush you’d use on the governor seemed absurd to me. How could she not see the irony of her prejudice? Besides that, she really harshed my mellow after a nice mineral soak. I kept going on and on about it as we headed back to the motel, to the point Chad finally exhaled, “I wish you’d NEVER even TALKED to that woman.”
On the ride back we continued in a loop, following a southern route, interstate quick, along I-10 back to Arizona. Hatch, New Mexico is well known as the Chile Capital of America, but did you know it’s also the Capital of Colossal Fiberglass Figures? Along the interstate, famous billboards tout the rapid approach of something called “The Thing.” “The THING! WHAT IS IT?” Building to a crescendo with every passing mile, these roadside teases did their trick on me,
“Oh, we’re stopping. At THE! THING! We must find out, WHAT! IS! IT?!”
The Thing is located near Willcox, right off the interstate. It’s a gas station, a fast food pit
stop, a gift store. And it’s also a crazy, amazing, creepy collection of the American bizarre! For only $1.00 entry fee (75¢ for kids) you can stroll through three big steel sheds stocked full of insane artwork, machines and autos, questionable artifacts, dusty mannequins, rain damaged furniture and unintentionally humorous displays. My favorite? A 19th century telephone in a glass case, sitting next to a 1950s rotary phone. The words above the two phones, “Ma Bell, My HowFarYou’veCome!”(MaBell,youhavenoidea!) Asfor“TheThing”?Whatwasit?Well,Ican’t say. Maybe a mummy, maybe a dummy. Chad thought it was an alien. I took no photos while strolling the collections at The Thing, because I believe every American should pay a visit and see for yourself. It’s only $1.00.
Traveling the West is always fun. There’s always such a crazy mix of wild and tame, modern and ancient, futuristic and historic, weird and wonderful. As great fans of sun-baked patinas, vintage neon, silly roadside attractions, dramatic landscapes and wide open roads, we will cer- tainly celebrate more western wanderings on the horizon.
| ellen Jo Roberts lives in Clarkdale AZ and travels with Chad, floyd, ivan and Hazel. Ned stays home. Read all about it at ellenjo.com
thenoise.us • the NOISE arts & news
• january 2014 • 41