Page 29 - the NOISE June 2012

“Let us toast to animal pleasures, to escapism, to rain on the roof and instant coffee, to unemployment insurance and library cards, to absinthe and good- hearted landlords, to music and warm bodies and contraceptives ... and to the “good life”, whatever it is and wherever it happens to be.”
— Hunter S. Thompson
The Proud Highway: Saga of a Desperate Southern Gentleman
Highlands and the Intelligence.
Highlands
Railroad
Self-released
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This is a track some publicist sent me and he never sent me the whole record so I thought I’d just review this single, which is a decent shoegazer kind of thing. The kind of track Swerve, Slowdive or Lush could possibly sue for copyright infringe- ment.
I always thought of ‘shoegaze’ as a reference to how many foot pedals a guitarist has to press in the course of a song. Songs are usually dreamy and usually sound a lot like My Bloody Valentine. That’s my definition, anyway.
This one starts nice and lo-fi and before you know it, the Jesus and Mary Chain patented white noise comes in with drums that are far too eloquent to sound anything resem-
bling live. That’s production value! These guys kind of border on douchey once the vocals start, but it’s not quite there yet. It’s like they’re waiting for the major label invite to go full on douche.
You can tell they’re trying really hard to get on the radio because the one impressive part, the noisy breakdown, isn’t nearly long enough to be interesting. Here, it’s just a require- ment of the genre this band wants to be included in so badly.
And ‘douche’ is just a generic, meant-to-be-humorous de- fault term. We’re not Republicans — we’re not warring against women and douche users. Do people still even use douches? They’re just useless bags of smell, created by men, to make cunnilingus more pleasant, right? As if it’s not already the most pleasant thing in the universe for a willing participant, au la natural. Do douches actually do anything that women actually need? The answer is definitely, no, right? Am I miss- ing something? I almost think I should apologize for using the word. But that wouldn’t be very professional.
I guess what I mean by ‘douchey’ in the context of this track by this band I believe is from California, is the song could definitely be used for a montage on any one of the CSI se- ries, (those are still on the air, right? [can we still use the term,
‘on the air’? or is it more like ‘through the stream’?]) in which they’re in the lab, looking at evidence and pulling clues off of a salty scrap of denim, for example, at speeds and in ways that have nothing to do with how crimes are actually solved in reality. My favorite has always been the Miami one, because it makes no effort to even resemble a police procedural, and David Caruso is just having so much fun, hamming it up, giv- ing those ironic/awful lines with a straight face, and being, well, as douchey as humanly possible. Will he ever get another role? Doubtful.
As for Highlands, I’d recommend a steady diet of Deerhunt- er, so they can copy ideas from the 21st Century on making
shoegazing sound fresh. Otherwise, they need a time-travel- ing DeLorean to take them back to 1985 with their album so they can sound like the kings of their school.
The Intelligence
Everybody’s Got It Easy But Me
In the Red Records
jjj
— Frank Chiptotel
Starts with the fun herky jerky “I Like LA” and gets the un- initiated ready for a silly trip through a landscape we have bands like DEVO to thank for. The track is nearly five minutes and most of it is an art damaged drum loop and the laid-back echo-slap vocals counting to... 44. Then the band comes in and I can start referencing Ty Segall, Thee Oh Sees and bands in the Intelligence’s circle of friends and influence. What a dumb opening track! Or is it brilliant? ... Such a fine line ...
The next track sounds even more like DEVO. “Hippy Pro- vider” is at least a little catchy, if not just as goofy as that first track. I could see any one of the tracks that follow becoming some freak breakout hit not unlike Chumbawumba’s one hit or Sublime’s short bout at stardom (that almost surely would’ve been much longer,) or even the random alignment of stars that created the band, Smashmouth’s moment in the spotlight.
The first really good one though, like actually really good, and just kind of funny, is track 4, “Techno Tuesday,” which is more psychedelic flutes and acoustic guitars than techno, which is righteous and when the drums come in and they throw the tremolo on the guitar, it’s pretty dang West Coast wonderful. A good song for a Corona commercial. All the way into the long fade.
The kind of album put together to grow on you. The annoy- ances start to get charming and before you know it, you’re a fan. Except this album just sort of gets more annoying. To me, anyway.
Honestly, the first listen was the most charming. All those DEVO references that are so endearing started becoming more in reference to their later, far more mediocre records.
“Techno Tuesday” is a hell of a track, I’ll be jamming it this sum- mer, but the rest of this album ... you get the idea. — FC
Wooden Indian/Treasure Mammal/Joe Blossom/Colorstore The Crescent Ballroom
May 27, 2012 [Recorded from phone conversation]
jjjj
It’s been nice. The weather and everything. I mean, I wasn’t going to stay in that muckh*le Flagstaff all summer. It might be hot, but at least there’s parties. You know?
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