Page 29 - the NOISE October 2015

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jon wayne
“Mister engineer ... faders up!”
[Author’s Note: The following was originally part
of a “Best Of 2013” article that never saw print. The subject is Jon Wayne the cowpunk, not to be confused with John Wayne the cowboy actor, Jonwayne the DJ, or lame white boy reggae douchebags Jon Wayne & The Pain. There is only one. Accept no substitutes.]
In March 2013, producer/engineer/musician David Vaught died of pancreatic cancer at the age of 64. Vaught’s name was unknown to the general public but revered among his fellow musicians and engineers. To fans of the odd and strange corners of popular music, the man was a legend. In 1985, under the name Jon Wayne, Vaught and his cohorts recorded Texas Funeral, an unhinged one of a kind cowpunk LP that has recently transcended its cult status and been rescued from obscurity.
David Vaught was born in 1948 in Austin, and grew up in Southern California. He learned electric guitar and bass at age eleven. In 1963, he played on an LP by his big brother’s surf band The Renegaids. His first career was as a session musician. His bass and guitar appeared on albums by Roger McGuinn, Tom Waits, Rick Danko, Helen Reddy, and others. He cut an LP for Frank Zappa’s Straight label in 1971 as a member of Rosebud, a group that included psychedelic folk weirdos Judy Henske and Jerry Yester. He was an arranger for (and briefly a member of) smooth ‘60s popsters The Association (years past their commercial peak) and The Flying Burrito Brothers (years after the departure of Gram Parsons). An early example of Vaught’s twisted sense of humor was 1975’s Bite the Baby, an album recorded with friends as The Flaming Pitts.
During his time as a hired axeman, Vaught got comfortable behind the mixing board. In the early 1980s, he received his engineer’s license and opened a small studio in Van Nuys called Suite 16. He soon graduated to a larger facility in Thousand Oaks, dubbed Camp David. Here Vaught recorded sessions for Lone Justice, Peter Case, Primitive Radio Gods, Counting Crows, Vic Chesnutt, and many others.
In 1988, David Vaught engineered Bread and Circus, the first album by San Bernardino locals Toad The Wet Sprocket. Due to the band’s financial state (they were still in high school), Vaught recorded and mixed the LP in eight days and charged a bare minimum fee of $650. After Toad signed to Columbia, their new label offered to rerelease Bread and Circus. The group agreed, but with the stipulation that Vaught’s original mix would stay untouched.
David Vaught and some of his studio cohorts thought it would be hilarious to form a drunk cowpunk group dedicated to poking fun at stereotypical “Real Texans.” David Vaught assumed the moniker Jon Wayne, and released the Texas Funeral LP in 1985.
Texas Funeral exists in its own universe. Vaught grunts, slurs, yips and cackles his way through ridiculous numbers like “Texas Jailcell,”“Texas Cyclone,”“Texas Wine,”“Texas Polka,” and “But I’ve Got Texas.” In Vaught/Wayne’s mouth, “God dammit” becomes “Gid dimmit,” and “Texas” becomes “Tek- shish.” In the un-PC “Mr. Egyptian,” Wayne tries to buy gas from an Arab who tells him, “No Go Diggy Die.”
“YouandTheKitten,”theLP’stear-in-my-beercountryweeper, features a tack piano a good quarter step out of tune with the rest of the band, and some fantastically moronic lyrics:
I like shootin’ whiskey I like shootin’ pool
David Vaught/jon wayne at Camp David, date unknown
PHoto by marVin etzioni
by tony ballz
frozen noses
the world and potential new fans might be confused. Everyone stewed for a while until Henry Diltz proposed a solution: they could go back to the house tomorrow and take more photos, this time with the boys sitting the right way on the couch. Perhaps there would be a shot as magical as this one. The musicians agreed.
When they returned to 815 Palm Avenue the next afternoon, the house was gone. All of it: the windows, walls, doors, roof, porch, floorboards, carpet, kitchen and bathroom fixtures ... everything. Even the couch. The men stared in silent disbelief at the empty space in front of them. The City of Los Angeles must have demolished the place the morning after the photo shoot, and then hauled away the debris within the next 24 hours. All that was left to show a house had once stood here was a few pipes poking through the foundation and some wood splinters on the ground. The Los Angeles Public Works Department had done a commendably thorough job.
Crosby, Stills & Nash took this event as a sign. Henry Diltz’s camera had captured two timelines intersecting: their first official day as a group and the final hours of the house’s existence. It was fated. The old picture had to be used. The order in which they were seated didn’t really matter. The back cover shot of drummer Dallas Taylor looking through the front door was added later.
The self-titled Crosby, Stills & Nash LP was released on May 29, 1969. It was immediately hailed as a classic and has sold millions of copies worldwide. Henry Diltz’s couch photo indeed became iconic. Both Graham Nash and David Crosby have stated that even today, nearly half a century after the album’s release, certain fans still get their identities mixed up.
815 Palm Avenue is currently a parking lot.
I like shootin’ rabbits I like shoein’ mules *
In “Apple Schnapps,” the album’s one live cut, Wayne urges the audience to order a round while singing along:
Apple schnapps, apple schnapps Everyone loves apple schnapps Apple schnapps, apple schnapps Everyone loves apple schnapps *
One night long long ago during my college years, my girlfriend and I decided to pay tribute to our new favorite record by getting drunk on a bottle of apple schnapps. It was a horrible experience. I still remember the next day’s hangover as one of the worst of my life.
Texas Funeral mixes in The Blasters’ love of old country and rock & roll, The Cramps’ crazy caveman babbling, The Shaggs’ lyrical depth, and lots of alcohol. Somehow this still doesn’t nail it. For once, words may not be enough. A comparison of Texas Funeral to anything familiar would only diminish its uniquely bizarre majesty. It really does need to be heard to be believed.
As the cult of Texas Funeral grew over the years, the identities of the musicians remained a mystery, which would work to their detriment. One of the album’s early fans was director Quentin Tarantino, who desperately wanted to use the title track in Pulp Fiction, but couldn’t find any way to contact the band for permission. Vaught was eventually put in touch with the director, who slotted “Texas Funeral” into From Dusk Til Dawn.
Fifteen years after Jon Wayne’s debut came a slightly less demented second album, Two Graduated Jiggers, which featured such new twisted classics as “Time to Drink Whiskey,”
“I Caught Me A Squirrel,” “Country Porno,” “I Do Drive Truck,” andsevenoreighttrackswith“Texas”inthetitle. JonWayne came out of retirement and played several live shows to support the record. A 60 minute set, recorded in Austin on July 4, 2001, is posted on YouTube.
The original 1985 Texas Funeral LP went out of print shortly after its release. It appeared on compact disc in 1992, but fell out of print again. Both Jon Wayne albums are currently unavailable on CD. In 2010, ex-White Stripe Jack White reissued Texas Funeral on vinyl through his Third Man Records.
CONSUMER WARNING: Jon Wayne’s Texas Funeral is highly addictive. On first listen, the album sounds like the most god awful drunken out of tune racket ever recorded (and it nearly is), but repeated spins will break down your defenses. I discovered it in 1987 and it’s still one of the funniest records I’ve ever heard. Nearly everyone I’ve introduced it to has become obsessed with it almost immediately.
I urge you to believe. Don’t fight it, let it come. Trust me, it’s well worth your time and can only make your life better. Have a beer or two. Soon you will be yipping right along and muttering “Tek-shish” and “Shut Up Jimbo” and “No Go Diggy Die” to confused loved ones and complete strangers alike.
Thank you, David. This boring world needs more wingnuts like you. Hope there’s whiskey in heaven, because everyone knows apple schnapps is all they serve in hell.
[* - all lyrics c. 1985 Jon Wayne]
| tony ballz likes to sing songs about tek-shish as well. music@thenoise.us
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