Page 35 - the NOISE December 2013

Derrick wept when he read it. He said it was perfect.
As the hour grew late, Derrick told Bingo he was going home to sleep. Unbeknownst to his neighbor, he had bought a revolver that day after leaving the hospital (the receipt was found later). During the after- noon spent with Bingo, it had sat loaded in his house. At some point in the night, Der- rick Ross lay down on the bed he and Amy shared and took his own life. He was 39.
Bingo awoke in the morning to scream- ing from next door. It was Derrick’s mother. While staring at her friend’s corpse, Bingo called Doug. Through his hangover, Doug at first couldn’t understand what she was so hysterical about. Had Amy gotten deader?
At 12:16pm, a second message was post- ed on Amy Ross’ Facebook (complete with a reference from Warren Zevon, another man who laughed at death):
“Sorry to bring more bad news but Derrick de- cided to join me at some point in the night last night. I thought it best you heard it from me. Enjoy every sandwich. We love and will miss you all. Go be nice to someone for us.”
After calming Bingo down, Doug spoke to his property caretaker and asked him to stay around to comfort the women. As he was about to hang up, Stanhope thought of a joke that Amy and Derrick would appreciate. He told the caretaker to go out on the Ross’ lawn and, in full view of the cops and the neighbors, slowly hammer in a “For Rent” sign.
Lou Reed
going“OhBAY-beh,OhBAY-beh,OhBAY-beh, EEE-YEEEEYEEEEYEEEYEEE!” in “Rock And Roll.” Thanks for all the crazy ranting on Take No Prisoners. Thanks for the guitar break on “I Heard Her Call My Name.” Thanks for not let- ting “Sweet Jane” die. The metal version from Rock And Roll Animal still rules.
Thanks for encouraging Mo Tucker to play her drums standing up. Thanks for having the balls to create something so unrelent- ingly bleak as Berlin and present it to a main- stream audience. Thanks for sounding (as my friend J would say) like an old junkie sitting in a burned out car on a deserted New York street looking through a dirty window on
“Hey Mr. Rain.”
Thanks for sneaking the term “giving head”
onto corporate radio. It still offends some people and it still makes the rest of us smile. Thanks for Metal Machine Music, the best f*ck-you from an artist to his label EVER. Your gravestone should be a huge speaker blar- ing MMM on a continuous loop loud enough to be heard miles away. I would visit.
Thanks for I’m Waiting For My Man & Ve- nus In Furs & All Tomorrow’s Parties & White Light/White Heat & Sister Ray & What Goes On & Some Kinda Love & I’m Set Free & Fog- gy Notion & Beginning To See The Light & Pale Blue Eyes & Head Held High & Oh Sweet Nothin’ & Femme Fatale & I’ll Be Your Mirror & We’re Gonna Have A Real Good Time To- gether & Ocean & Candy Says & Lisa Says & Caroline Says & Stephanie Says & Satellite Of Love & Perfect Day & Kill Your Sons & She’s My Best Friend & Street Hassle & I Wanna Be Black & The Bells & Underneath The Bottle & The Blue Mask & Down At The Arcade & New Sensations & Dirty Boulevard & Halloween Parade & Sex With Your Parents & Set The Twilight Reeling etc, etc ...
And Lou, now that that Metallica LP every- one pissed on is your swan song, I do believe you will have the last laugh when Rolling Stone declares it a masterpiece 25 years from now, just like Berlin.
Thanks for ALL of it, Lou. You were one of the greatest and we loved you. Goodbye.
— Tony McKinley
What, too soon?
— Tony McKinley
THANKS LOU
Thanks, Lou.
Thanks for being a punk before punk ex- isted. Thanks for looking like such a badass on the inside of the first Velvet Underground album. Thanks for not becoming pathetic in your old age. Thanks for openly speaking about your drug use and bisexuality. Thanks for always being yourself, even when you didn’t know who that was.
Thanks for cracking up when the drums cut out toward the end of“Heroin.”Thanks for
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