Page 29 - the NOISE July 2014

Armand schaubroeck in a poster repro & out front of hog.
By tony BALLZ
nently relocated to a huge two story build- ing in Irondequoit. Again, running a business quieted Armand’s music for a few years, but
1977-1978 saw a flurry of recorded activity. First was I Came To Visit But Decided To
Stay, a concept LP about a priest who im- pregnates a nun, then kills her to save her soul. This was followed by Live At The Holiday Inn, an obviously fake concert album with stadium-sized cheers overdubbed around Armand and band jamming in the basement. Next up was Shakin’ Shakin’, an exploration of 1950s rock and roll.
Finally, late 1978 brought the brilliant Ratf*cker, another concept album about life on the streets. Armand inhabits pimps, junk- ies, hitmen and various other lowlifes. The music mimics Lou Reed’s then-current LP Street Hassle, and the obscenity-laced lyrics guaranteed zero radio play.
With this, Armand Schaubroeck closed out his recording career. He claimed he had nothing more to say.
The Schaubroecks kept their music store and label alive. Armand produced several local acts (most notably psychedelic throw- backs The Chesterfield Kings) and released them on Mirror Records. He married in 1980 and fathered four children.
Beginning in the late 1970s, House Of Gui- tars grew locally notorious for their cheap homemade TV commercials. An early one has The Ramones clowning around in the store. Another shows Armand pleading: “No matter what ya got in da closet, bring it in! If ya got an old Fender Stratocaster or an old Gibson Les Paul, I’ll give ya a dime or two ...”
Most infamous was a series of Easter- time ads featuring Armand in rabbit ears and shades. “I am da real Easter Bunny,” he deadpans. “Hop hop. Hop hop.” He ended up saddled with the catchphrase. To this day, Ar- mand hears “hop hop” wherever he goes in New York State.
Due to its bewildering array of merchan- dise, House Of Guitars became a stopping- off point for musicians from around the globe. A small stage was built to host shows. The store is packed with rock and roll memo- rabilia such as John Lennon’s jacket and Jimi Hendrix’s pants. The back wall contains hun-
dreds of famous signatures, including Les Paul himself.
The Schaubroecks have never attempted to keep House Of Guitars tidy or “profession- al.” The place is a music geek’s dream: a big sprawling mess with stuff stacked on top of stuff in every corner and weird labyrinthine hallways leading to adjacent buildings full of more stuff. They have over 10,000 guitars in stock, more than anywhere else in the world.
Today, HOG is still run by Armand Schaubroeck and his brothers, along with their children and grandchildren. The store has been located at 645 Titus Avenue since 1972. They have been profiled in People Magazine and The Wall Street Journal. They still make cheesy TV commercials (several are posted on YouTube). 2014 marks their 50th year in business and on record. They are a beacon of the counterculture, flying their freak flag out in the open for half a century.
The story would ordinarily end here but for a surprising development.
The five wildly idiosyncratic albums from 1972-1978 by Armand Schaubroeck Steals have become underground classics, first passed around by word of mouth and then the internet. In 2003, British musician Julian Cope published a lengthy and laudatory
essay on his website headheritage.co.uk, exposing Armand’s music to a broader audi- ence.
Record Store Day 2014 brought the first new music from ASS in 36 years. A 10” sin- gle was released of “God Made The Blues To Kill Me,” a roaring 13-minute track about Vietnam. The cover shows the 70-year old Schaubroeck and a tattooed rock & roll hon- ey hitchhiking into a dead end street, guitar cases in hand.
Mirror Records’ Facebook page reveals that a full LP is on the way. Maybe the world is finally ready.
| tony Ballz may want to check out your vinyl. tony@thenoise.us
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